


wouldn't change a stroke

by plinys



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 03:39:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5651173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Get it, my <i> cockpit </i>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	wouldn't change a stroke

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isloremipsumafterall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/gifts).



> One day there will be a fandom that I don't write a fic about dick jokes, Star Wars is not that fandom. 
> 
> Dedicated to Beej who came up with the greatest line not to make it into this fic: "So who comes first? You come first? I come first?"

Finn had been waiting for this moment a long time. Fantasizing about it through his long months of physically therapy, and on those late nights when Poe was Force knows where fighting an enemy Finn knew all too well. He’d heard rumors, whispers that sleeping with Poe was an _experience_.

And once he had been able to calm the jealous feelings in his chest – because of course someone as attractive and wonderful as Poe would have had plenty of partners before – he had become excited by the prospect.

It wasn’t that Finn was a virgin.

Troopers had sex, plenty of it. There wasn’t much else for them to do in their downtime other than read First Order approved books, and eventually things had always turned to more carnal pursuits. It was just that back then it had been a stress relief, something quick, nothing that anyone would ever describe in such perplexing tones.

So maybe he was a bit excited, and considering Poe was laid out on his bed, naked and as gorgeous as ever excited was a bit of an understatement.

Finn leans forward crushing their lips together, needing to desperately capture the beautiful image before him. His hand comes down between them gripping Poe’s dick. He can’t help himself from smiling as Poe makes a keening sound against his lips.

When he pulls back, he’s greeted image of Poe flush, his eyes shut, lips parted ever so slightly.

“I can’t wait to have you inside me,” sounds completely unsexy in Finn’s head, but it gets Poe’s attention at once, the other man’s eyes snapping open.

There’s darkness in them a hunger for something that Finn is also deeply longing for, but there is also a hint of something that looks like hesitation.

“Bedside drawer – grab the,” he groans, distracted by the hand of cock. His head falling back to expose the line of his neck. Any eloquence that Poe might have outside of the bed seems lost the second he slips in between the sheets.

“The,” Finn prompts

 He loosens his hold and gets a slightly betrayed look in return, which morphs all too soon into something teasing. Poe’s lips quirking up mischievously.

“Helmet, Finn, you got to put on your helmet. Safety first, you know all about that right, you always got to wear your bucket. Otherwise you’ll get the cooties.”

“Excuse me.”

Poe laughs, honest to god laughs, like he’s just made the greatest joke in the world. His lips pouting a bit when Finn doesn’t join him in the joke. “Condom.”

Oh.

Finn sighs.

So this is what they meant by an _experience_.

“You know you could’ve just said that in the first place.”

“Aw but where’s the fun in that?”

\---

He had thought the condom joke was bad, but when he’d recounted it later in a semi-joking tone to some of Poe’s squadron, they had just shrugged.

Snap had even gone as far to say it wasn’t the _worst_ Poe had come up with.

Which was slightly alarming. How could someone be so smooth and attractive out of bed, yet inside of it suddenly turn into the biggest dork in the world?

The sex had been great, mind-blowingly so. Poe putting Finn’s pleasure above his own, once he got over his lame jokes it had been one of the most enjoyable nights of Finn’s life. It was just everything that had led up to that.

“Maybe I could gag him? He could be into that right?"

"You could gag him with you dick," Jessika says with the straightest face imaginable. 

"You know that's not a bad idea," Finn replies, only half joking.

Certainly not expecting the man in question to appear over his shoulder, resting his head against the top of Finn’s in a motion that was so domestic it made his heart clench up at once. Poe Dameron may have been a dork, but he was Finn’s dork, and that had to count for something.

“Are you guys talking about me,” Poe asks, sounding mock-hurt.

The other pilot’s hardly pay his tone any mind. “’Course not Commander. Why ever would we do that?”

Poe can’t see, but judging by Jessika’s face it’s likely she got a rude gesture in reply.

“Well, since clearly you’re not talking about anything important, I’m going to steal Finn away.”

“Where we going,” Finn says, already sliding off his place in the bench.

And Poe – Poe just grins at him with that same look that Finn is certain will haunt his nightmares. “I want to show you my cockpit.” As if Finn could possibly miss the overly awful innuendo, he caps it all off with the most overdramatic wink in the world.

There’s a beat of silence, before Poe seems to look over Finn’s shoulder to where his squadron is and says, “Get it, guys, my  _cockpit_.”

Dying of embarrassment suddenly seems like a reality. He’s lived through defecting from the First Order, crashing a TIE-fighter, and even fighting a wannabe Sith Lord, and this was going to be what killed him – Poe Dameron and his lame sex jokes.

At least this time Finn wasn’t the only one groaning at the jokes.

“Get it, Finn, _get it_.”

“Yes, I get it, now let’s go because I change my mind.”

\---

“Sargent, how charged are the Ion Canons,” Poe asks, his voice adopting that serious business tone. A time of tone which probably would’ve been sexy if it wasn’t in the middle of playing out some weird roleplay scenario.

At least it was better than the X-Wing noises he had been making before.

“You know, Poe, I really like you, but I’m pretty sure I can find a better use for your mouth than all those corny jokes.”

He worries for a second that Poe’s going to be offended, but when he teasing smile falls off his face it is not replaced by a frown. Instead Finn is greeted with the subtle parting of his lips, Poe’s far too pink tongue darting out to run across them.

“And what might that be, _sir_?”

Finn tugs Poe in for a quick kiss rather than answering. He may not be into being asked about his _ion canons_ , but something about hearing _sir_ fall from Poe’s lips got him going a bit. Finn brings his hand up to twist in Poe’s curls just the way he likes, pulling him back from Finn’s lips with just a hint of pressure.

He can see in Poe’s eyes that the movement was appreciated, and when he pushes Poe ever so gently downward, the other man doesn’t hesitate for a second before dropping to his knees.

\---

Finn almost thinks that’s the end of it.

He should’ve known better.

Still it doesn’t stop him from nearly dying of embarrassment all over again when Poe walks into the control room proudly boasting, “Guess who hit a stormtrooper last night? Over and _over_ again.”


End file.
